One of the biggest mistakes we make in life is having a poor use of our time.
It is true that many of us have jobs and commitments, but how we choose to spend that time as well as our own free time plays a large role in our sense of fulfillment.
Some people create goals in the hopes of gaining more pleasure, others choose to find something they enjoy and spend as much time as they can on it, and some choose to linger around trying to fill the void of time with whatever entertains them at the moment.
Just as lingering around and wasting time does nothing to make us happier, creating goals without a purpose and sense of fulfilment is just another to do not a solution to a lack of fulfillment and happiness.
Where our pleasure begins to fade away occurs when we lose touch with our sense of fulfillment, growth and adventure.
It happens to us all and there is no permanent answer to what will make us happy, but we can expand on the amount of time we feel pleasure and fulfillment.
One of the first things we need to understand is whether we are filling our free time with activities to merely eliminate boredom or if we are spending that time on activities that will help us become better, give us new experiences, expand our knowledge and improve our lives in new emotionally fulfilling and purposeful ways.
Living purposefully doesn’t mean doing something just because someone else tells you it’s important and purposeful, it means doing what brings you a sense of pleasure and fulfillment.
The more you can find fulfillment in what you do the more you can contribute to the world by being who you are and living with purpose.
I’ve seen both ends of the spectrum and can say spending your time on activities that bring you pleasure and fulfillment are some of the best experiences you can give yourself.
At one time in my life I spent nearly a year traveling the world, exploring new cultures, trying new things and reading anything that would help me improve my life, and I felt that I was living my purpose and experiencing life to the fullest.
I also made others happy simply by enjoying my life and bringing my sense of pleasure and fulfilment into their lives.
At another point in my life I spent my time watching movies, eating junk food, working a meaningless job and repeating the same activities (merely to avoid boredom) with the same friends hoping to get a new and pleasurable experience (often failing on the new and pleasurable experience part) just to pass the time.
I’m not saying that the latter can’t be fun at times (minus the meaningless job part), but when that s all you do, when you aren’t living life in ways that create fulfilling and pleasurable experiences you can find that life can get pretty boring, pretty fast and can even lead to depression.
Sometimes the best intentions don’t always bring the best outcomes.
I enjoy spending time with my friends so don’t take this the wrong way, but if your friends are taking time away from activities that can increase your sense of fulfillment and improve your life than you need to make some changes.
If you are giving a lot and receiving little in return in terms of your own happiness and you feel it wouldn’t be returned had the situation been reversed that’s a clear sign that you need to reevaluate how you’re spending your time and who you are spending it with.
For example, I used to spend a lot of time hanging out with friends playing games, going to the movies, and eating out at restaurants.
All fun things to do, but I didn’t realize it was to the detriment of my health and personal growth, and I didn’t realize how fun the alternatives could be because I was simply focusing on getting away from the stress, but not asking myself what would create a fulfilling lifestyle.
Ever since I was a kid I always wanted to be able to do the things that I saw swimmers, body builders, tri athletes and gymnasts do and the sense of nostalgia I got from watching these people eventually got me to sign up for the gym.
Please note that you don’t have to join the gym, it is simply something that gives me a sense of fulfillment, and no I’m still not anywhere near being a tri athlete.
The point is to do what makes you happiest and helps you to grow.
At first it was difficult and I missed hanging out with my friends as much because I chose the gym instead going out, but as time passed and I started getting healthier and into better shape my level of pleasure and fulfillment skyrocketed.
I also made friends with others who had similar goals and purposes, and even got some of my friends to start exercising as well.
As a result I ended up going out less often to the restaurants and when I did I chose healthier alternatives than what I used to eat.
I lowered the amount of time I spent doing un-fulfilling, time-consuming activities (which is almost as bad as assigning yourself tasks and goals simply to pass the time) and found other activities that allowed me to be active while also having fun such as playing tennis and baseball.
I also realized that I didn’t really losing anyone close to me and some of them actually joined in which made the relationship even stronger.
On the other hand I did spend less time with those who didn’t have the same vision and passion as me, but I understood that it’s important not to give up my own sense of fulfillment and passion by wasting my time with others who don’t feel the same way, even if they are my friends.
Just because you choose to spend your time doing what gives you a sense of fulfillment it doesn’t mean you care any less about your relationships, but it does mean that you are valuing your time most importantly and making it a priority.
The point I am trying to make is who you choose to spend your time around will determine how you spend your time, so choose those who have similar goals, purposes and interests that bring fulfilment into your life.
The more time you spend doing what you love, the less time you will spend avoiding what you hate.
By eliminating activities that suck up time and give little to nothing in return you increase your level of energy and your ability to handle tasks better.
Focus on the few things that really matter to you and slowly eliminate the rest.
Increasing your level of fulfillment is a practice.
You can’t make being happy a goal that you will reach one day because goals have completion dates and once you meet that goal you have to fill it with something new or you’ll revert back to feeling depressed and unfulfilled.
Instead choose to practice doing the things you love more and more while also practicing to spend less time on the things that bore you or cause you to waste your time.
Increasing your level of fulfillment is just as much about getting rid of pointless activities as it is filling your time with things you enjoy.
It takes time to build muscle because you need to have a good exercise routine, eat health and get plenty of rest.
The same is true about conditioning your own sense of fulfillment.
Don’t overdo it too soon.
It’s not about changing everything on day one. It’s about steady growth. If it takes a year to replace bad habits and time-wasting activities than that’s fine.
If you take your time, build your self up and condition yourself for the mental and physical changes that you desire you’ll get there.
Start out spending 10 to 15 min a day doing something you enjoy, make it a habit and slowly and steadily increase your time on that one activity till you’ve built that desire up.
Once you have that down and it becomes instinctive start focusing on another activity you enjoy and repeat the process.
The point is to slowly filter out the activities that waste your time and give you nothing in return.
Over the course of a year you can take baby steps that will allow you to recreate yourself and help you to condition a better you.
Believe me a lot can change in a year.
Conditioning a better life comes from trying different things and figuring out what you truly enjoy and what you thought you would but you don’t.
If you find fulfillment in what you do than continue doing it, but if you don’t you may want to experiment with new activities until you find something that increases your sense of fulfillment.
Don’t simply give yourself goals and activities because you want to avoid boredom, choose things that you believe will help you to feel more fulfilled.
The best activities are those that help you grow and can bring you fulfillment years after you start them.
If you love playing sports and you’ll feel the same way 5 years later than you’ve found something really worth pursuing.
Since growth is one of the most important characteristics of fulfillment short-term goals have a strong and positive purpose as well in terms of gaining fulfillment.
If you choose something that you’ll only enjoy for a few months but it helps you to grow, gain new experiences and learn something new then go for it, but be aware of that and know that when the time comes you may need to have something else to take its place or you could start to lose the sense of satisfaction you’ve acquired.
A careful balance of life long activities and short-term growth creating and fulfilling activities is the best way to go.
And remember, more time doesn’t always equal a happier or more pleasurable life if you don’t fill it with something you enjoy.